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CHARACTER BREAKDOWN
SAMANTHA – A
Type A Alpha She-bitch. Is she ever wrong? She has a hot-spicy latino
boyfriend who is everything she isn’t- warm, caring and easy going.
SAM
So where did the coroner pluck Dad?
SHELL – His
life was chosen for him. When is he going to grow some balls? His
pregnant wife constantly nags at him to see those balls for she wants
to ride the wild pony she once knew. Instead, he prefers talking to his
buffalo because they agree with everything he does.
SHELL
So you like living in Los Angelease?
DALE – A
mama’s boy. Has never had a relationship with a woman. Is he doomed to
a fantasy life dreaming of the local hottie AKA Jello Woman?
DALE
You
don't look like a Mexican. You're brown like a Mexican. (He rolls up
his sleeve and walks over to Gabriel to compare skin colors) I bet ya
I'm darker than you.
DOLORES – Mama. She likes barking orders and buries her grief under mountains of
cupcakes and streams of creamed corn. Her goal - throw the best
Christmas ever even if it drives everyone loony.
DOLORES
I don't know why you have to deprive your brother of his sprinkles.
DEBBIE – A former cheerleader whose star doesn’t burn so bright. She lives in a
fantasy world. Oh dear, you really don’t want to enter into Debbie’s…
She may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but boy is she fun.
DEBBIE
(About Sam having met George Clooney)
You met him twice? Not once but twice. Oh my god.
GABRIEL –
Cuban who relocated to the US a couple of years ago and still has a
hard time with the language. Nothing complicated about him apart from
the fact that he’s a vegan marooned on a beef eating ranch. He misses
his family and by connecting Sam to hers he is in a way connecting to
his own.
GABRIEL
Corozon de Melon. What I say about talking?